How many times have you started a sentence with "If money were no object..."? Never? Huh. Well, we did, when contemplating the opportunities of the brand-new year before us. And the rest of our sentence is this: "We would commission a bunch of Vermonters to do a bunch of cool things." Or something like that. Not having the money at our fingertips hasn't stopped us from imagining our dream commissions in tantalizing detail. Besides boosting the economy in WPA-like fashion, these projects would collectively promote Vermont pride in its innovative citizenry, while no doubt landing the state on yet another top-10 list. Even if the Vermont Community Foundation or the Vermont Arts Council or a benevolent millionaire doesn't see fit to fund our commissions (hint, hint), just know that we woulda if we coulda. Global Goddess A new Ceres sculpture has been installed on the Vermont Statehouse to great acclaim. But sculptors Jerry Williams and Chris Miller can't rest on their laurels — they're artists and thus at risk of starving. Our commission for the pair: to capitalize on "the future is female" ethos by manufacturing a line of figures to be called Global Goddess. We're not just talking Greek; these will be fashioned after lady deities from cultures around the world and throughout herstory. They'll be available in sizes and materials suitable for fancy lawn sculptures, coffee-table décor and pocket talismans. Prices, of course, will vary — and, for an exorbitant additional fee, goddesses can be customized to resemble any modern-day badass gal. Ten percent of profits will go toward Gov. Phil Scott's fund for enticing all of them to move to Vermont. — Pamela Polston Friendlier Fingers Westford resident Ted Pelkey was in the news recently for commissioning a $4,000 sculpture of a giant hand. Cool, right? Thing is, the hand is flipping the bird at Westford town officials, reportedly for preventing Pelkey from moving his truck repair and recycling business onto his own property. While his F-U fury may be justified, it's not exactly Vermont-y. Influenced by the spirit of the season, and maybe by too much eggnog, we pondered a kinder message to send using behemoth digits. We decided to commission sculptor Jim Sardonis, who created those whale tails ("Reverence") near Interstate 89 in South Burlington, to design two hand sculptures. Located on Vermont's borders with New Hampshire and New York, these fingers would…
How many times have you started a sentence with "If money were no object..."? Never? Huh. Well, we did, when contemplating the opportunities of the brand-new year before us. And the rest of our sentence is this: "We would commission a bunch of Vermonters to do a bunch of cool things." Or something like that. Not having the money at our fingertips hasn't stopped us from imagining our dream commissions in tantalizing detail. Besides boosting the economy in WPA-like fashion, these projects would collectively promote Vermont pride in its innovative citizenry, while no doubt landing the state on yet another top-10 list. Even if the Vermont Community Foundation or the Vermont Arts Council or a benevolent millionaire doesn't see fit to fund our commissions (hint, hint), just know that we woulda if we coulda. Global Goddess A new Ceres sculpture has been installed on the Vermont Statehouse to great acclaim. But sculptors Jerry Williams and Chris Miller can't rest on their laurels — they're artists and thus at risk of starving. Our commission for the pair: to capitalize on "the future is female" ethos by manufacturing a line of figures to be called Global Goddess. We're not just talking Greek; these will be fashioned after lady deities from cultures around the world and throughout herstory. They'll be available in sizes and materials suitable for fancy lawn sculptures, coffee-table décor and pocket talismans. Prices, of course, will vary — and, for an exorbitant additional fee, goddesses can be customized to resemble any modern-day badass gal. Ten percent of profits will go toward Gov. Phil Scott's fund for enticing all of them to move to Vermont. — Pamela Polston Friendlier Fingers Westford resident Ted Pelkey was in the news recently for commissioning a $4,000 sculpture of a giant hand. Cool, right? Thing is, the hand is flipping the bird at Westford town officials, reportedly for preventing Pelkey from moving his truck repair and recycling business onto his own property. While his F-U fury may be justified, it's not exactly Vermont-y. Influenced by the spirit of the season, and maybe by too much eggnog, we pondered a kinder message to send using behemoth digits. We decided to commission sculptor Jim Sardonis, who created those whale tails ("Reverence") near Interstate 89 in South Burlington, to design two hand sculptures. Located on Vermont's borders with New Hampshire and New York, these fingers would…